Do you know my dream?

Do you know that I, a 17 year-old senior, wants to be an outstanding actor in my future? I want to make theatre my entire life, I want it to take me over and become what I constantly strive towards. Towards that dream, I’ve already made so many accomplishments towards it.

I’ve been able to do theatre shows for over 11 years, and I’ve gotten so many impressive roles and shows out of it towards my resume. I’ve gotten first place at multiple UIL zone competitions with my fellow company. I’ve been awarded with so many flowers and applause that I’ve lost count.

Do you know that I created a brand new Esports team for the campus that has been fully student led? Do you know that the same Esports team has officially made the playoffs for its competitive season in the PlayVS league?

Do you know that I have gotten multiple placements in UIL prose & poetry tournaments and have qualified for districts? Did you know that those placements also consisted of one first place for the whole tournament?

Did you know that some of my newspaper stories won TAJE Texas’ online competition? Did you know that two of those were just some movie review stories I really wanted to write because I had a strong opinion?

I know the answer, and it’s no.

Many people wouldn’t have known any of those things about me at all. It’s a list of achievements that I should be the most proud of, and for granted they are incredible to have on some sort of portfolio of mine. But those achievements don’t define me, most people don’t even recognize me for those things. They recognize me for who I am, not what I do.

All my life, especially during high school, I have wanted to be appreciated and accepted by people. The ins and outs of this generation solely revolve around that same concept. Everyone around you is judging, and they’re all staring for whatever their reason is. Most people would have even stopped talking to me if I mentioned I did theatre as I did earlier.

But maybe that’s what’s been wrong. Mentally, growing up in this day and age is fairly hard. So many people are so busy around me that they don’t even have time to remember what my dream is. But maybe that’s just okay. 

If I sat down and begged people to enjoy me for just the titles I have to my name when it comes to academics, I would be a sellout. If I became friends with people because of their similar accomplishments to mine, I would judge them when they lose. If I ignored you because you haven’t gotten a first place medal in something, then I would be arrogant. But if I sat down, asked someone what’s causing them to struggle in life, then I would be human, just like that same person.

I don’t need to be different from others to be a good person. I don’t have to be recognized by the people above me at UIL competitions to be accomplished. If I tried my hardest to be different, and accomplish so many things just for titles, I would lose who I am.

That’s what I’ve figured out my senior year. If I look for appreciation, it won’t come. It took me a while to realize that, but when I’ve just been myself, I have gotten more kindness this year than I could have ever imagined. My own life does not need to revolve around others knowing my dream, my accomplishments, or what I do in my free time.

Maybe it’s alright to be a part of the crowd sometimes.